This past spring I planned a small retreat for the women in my private Facebook group (Hopelively) to a lovely spot in the Blueridge Mountains. Most of us were around fifty. As we relaxed around the firepit snacking on charcuterie it was evident to me that we were all pretty comfortable in who we were.
Chatting with these women also helped me realize how much more confidence and attitude women in their prime have. We’re comfortable with our strengths and weaknesses. We choose not to engage in or waste energy on drama. Money is great but we know it doesn’t trump time, so we’d rather waste money than time!
That trip was in the month of my forty-ninth birthday. Since that trip, I’ve spent some time contemplating how amazing women are at my age!
As a young woman, I had several friends who were decades older than me. I still do. My dad always told me that hanging around people who were older than you helps you grow wise.
What do 50-year-old women look like?
When you hear some talk about “middle age” you’d think it was a four-letter word. I’m here to tell you that it’s a refreshing “change” in life. What I want my daughters and all younger women to look forward to “at my age” is clarity! Wow, so much clarity at fifty and beyond.
Yes, our boobs may be sagging more and our waistline may be an inch or two (or more) wider than it was in our thirties, but we are beautiful. I’m not talking about hairstyles and weight loss, although those things are fine and can be a confidence booster. This article is not about what women who are preened, positioned, and perfected before being photographed look like. I’m not referencing J.Lo or other celebs.
No, it’s not the shoes or the perfectly styled hair, the flawless makeup or any of those things that help us feel better about ourselves. What makes a woman in her prime beautiful is how she carries herself, what she’s been through and survived.
At fifty, we’re comfortable with our strengths and weaknesses and we choose not to engage when necessary and don’t waste energy on drama. Like literally, go away drama; we’re too busy having fun!
Women of all age groups care about the way they look, but women after fifty realize that appearance is not as important as we thought. We are a bit more into good mental health, well and good health in general and we know that there is far too much life to live to waste a minute on agonizing over a little weight gain!
Yeah, we want to be slim as much as younger women do, and we may follow a diet, but we aren’t losing sleep over it.
Possibly, we’ve been told to expect to become invisible, but we will not comply!
I remember the first time I felt invisible, thinking “oh yeah, this is what they are talking about!” Then it occurred to me that the seed of that idea had been planted in my brain and was waiting for the right moment to sprout into self-doubt.
Since then, I have realized how freeing it actually is to just live life without worrying about what people are thinking about how I look or what I do. They probably weren’t paying that much attention in the first place! No sense worrying about the past, but it sure would have been amazing to come to this realization earlier in life. As they say, “youth is wasted on the young!”
19 Anti-Aging Tips for Healthy Living at any Age
- Have all the fun – My husband once bought me a hat that read, “Well behaved women rarely go down in history.” I’ve tried to live up to that sentiment.
- Mind your Brain Health – Eat healthy fats, get plenty of sleep, drink all the water, and keep learning, it’s so good for your brain!
- Chill out – haha stress ages you! Seriously though, you probably don’t need someone to tell you to chill out, because if you’re around fifty or over, you probably already are. It’s natural to realize that not everything has to be taken so seriously.
- Keep having girls night – When I invite my friends for a girls’ night in, I’m always pleased to see the relaxed and refreshed looks on their faces when the night ends. It’s like “wow, I needed that.” And we do. Women relate to one another; simple fact. Spend more time with the gals you love.
- Maintain bone health – As we age broken bones are not inevitable! Nutrition and exercise can help you to maintain bone health. Weight lifting is not just for body builders, it’s great for your bones! Along the same lines, working on balance is beneficial for preventing falls or injuries.
- Skin Care – Probably don’t need to mention this, but in case you haven’t noticed, there are ads for botox and other medical procedures everywhere you go! A good skincare regimen is all you really need; and maybe a little face yoga. Look, we’re all going to age, it’s inevitable. Don’t compare yourself to younger women on social media (who’s got time for that!?) Take care of your skin from the inside out and the outside in and be done with it.
- Exfoliate and Moisturize with a moisturizer with sunscreen – As an addendum to the above, I will add that glowing skin looks healthier. So keep dead skin exfoliated and then moisturize with something that will help you prevent sun-damage.
- Use eye cream – Part of your skincare will probably be eye cream, if not, add it, you can thank me later. The skin around your eyes is thinner and more delicate than the rest of your face.
- Exercise-The more you sit the more likely you are to experience depression. Move your body in joyful ways. Dance, swim, hike, yoga
- Drink Lemon Water every morning to aid in digestion. Our digestive system slows down as we grow older, and any help in the process is a step in the right direction.
- Have your teeth whitened – As we age our teeth become stained with all the living we’re doing! Wine, coffee, berries, and other foods can leave behind stains on teeth. There are plenty of ways to keep your teeth whiter naturally.
- Eat Healthily – Eat a well balanced healthy diet that includes good fats and lots of vegetables.
- Quit sugar – Swap your regular table sugar with one of the healthier options listed here.
- Eat more avocados – Avocados are full of so many nutrients, but chief among them are good fats and plenty of fiber.
- Eat natto or take nattokinase – Natto is fermented soybeans. The healthiest kind of soybeans to consume. Live B. subtilis cultures produce an enzyme called Nattokinase that is found in the sticky film surrounding the soybeans. It is said that Nattokinase may inhibit blood clotting and may help to prevent stroke, and hypertension. Nattokinase is a promising alternative in the prevention and treatment of cardiovascular diseases. “Natto consumption is believed to be a significant contributor to the longevity of the Japanese population.”
I take Nattokinase as a supplement.
- Do what you want with your hair – most likely no one looks at you more than you do, make sure YOU are happy with what you see when you look in the mirror. Stop trying to please those around you, no matter how vocal they are. A fresh haircut definitely makes me feel confident but I don’t care what they say about long hair at any age or what color my hair should be! You do you! (Manage hair loss with natural remedies or ask your hairdresser for help, and have your thyroid checked!)
- Take care of your vision! See your eye doctor, get those tests done, protect your peepers.
- Preserve your self-esteem, embrace your age and be proud of it. However, don’t compare yourself to a celeb who is your age, they’re airbrushed, they’ve almost all had costly (and sometimes dangerous) procedures!
- Enjoy mini-retirements-If you can get away throughout life, why wait till you’re retired? Build mini-retirements into your life at all ages.
What would you tell your younger self?
I polled some women in one of my groups and asked “What advice would you give your younger self at this point in life?” Here are their answers:
All of the things that you worry about and make yourself sick over, mean absolutely nothing tomorrow. Also, don’t put effort and energy into a one-sided relationship, it is not about getting someone out of someone it is about being present for someone and them doing the same for you. Love yourself first! ~ Amy
To my 20 and 30 something self (not married and no kids)- Have more fun. To my school-aged self – Quit wishing you were an adult because adulting isn’t easy. ~Kim
Don’t worry so much. God is in control. ~ Suzann
Take more chances and say yes more. ~ Nancy
Explaining yourself isn’t always necessary.. … less is more♡ Trust in God♡ ~ Noelle
Appreciate right where you are instead of hoping and waiting for what’s (hopefully) on the horizon. Chill out. Learn to love yourself and your body cause it is AMAZING ~ Rebecca
Life is a marathon, not a sprint, don’t rush through it! No one is responsible for my happiness but me! Take a risk! ~ Sheri
Go to the college you were accepted too. And finish. Learn the things you were not taught, budget, paying bills, buying a car… ~ Christine
It’s not about me. People choose their actions based on who they are not who you are. ~ Karrie
Sleep on your back. Otherwise, one side of your face will suffer far more wrinkles-deep ones! Enjoy your 50’s – they are some of your best years. (I can say that because I’m about to be 66!) Lean into your relationships. Listen and learn. And realize that people are not perfect. Learn how to forgive. You’ll be so much happier! ~ Lorraine
To learn to not expect perfection of yourself..to let things go that you can’t control…to explore any dreams and never think that anything is out of your reach…learn to set goals and enjoy the journey that those take you on. ~ Cindy
Sometimes your loved ones will never be who you wished they were. Stop grieving this loss and just be a better version of them. I wasted 20 + years with a broken heart that I kind of really brought on myself by not moving forward. ~ Brenda
I would tell my younger self to ALWAYS Take the Time to Play more with my Kids…They will never remember the clean house or the work you do, but they will remember you taking the time to BE WITH THEM. I would have rather had a messy home but MORE Time with my Kids…More Time Teaching them, More Time Hugging and Kissing Them, More Time Playing With Them…More Time Building Memories…..House Work and Jobs will ALWAYS Be around…Your Kids Won’t…They Grow up and sometimes they move away or you do and it could be years before you see them again. TAKE TIME TO PLAY….Yeppers, That is exactly what I would say to my younger self. Now I take EXTRA Time to play with the Grand Kids…..Learning from my past!! ~ Shelly
What would you add to this list? What would you tell your younger self? We’d love to hear! Join the community at Hopelively to be part of the conversation or drop your thoughts in the comments below.